What you do offstage (on your own time at home, or in your office, when no one sees you) to take care of yourself – really matters for what happens onstage…

This month, I had an in-depth one-on-one conversation with over 15 leaders about their own self-care practices. One of the biggest things I learned is…

As a leader it’s easy to show up and lead when things are going well. As Jack, one of my former IBM colleagues, always said, “That is not leading. That is going with the flow downriver. True leadership shows up during tough times, when you have to stake a claim and maybe make an unpopular decision, or when you have to set a direction when the future is uncertain.”

Getting at the root cause of an illness or injury is critical to ensure healing leading to optimal health and wellbeing. Today, there are loads of research studies and corporate wellness guides that validate what many people have intuitively known to be true: health and wellbeing contribute to productivity and performance.

True wellbeing is not just about getting a massage or going to the gym three days a week. Overall wellbeing is an outcome of being healthy mentally, emotionally, physically, socially, financially and spiritually.

I’m not in the habit of endorsing products or services on this blog, but I do want to highlight a unique organization, it’s leaders and the quality product they are able to produce BECAUSE of their relationships and ties to the communities in which they operate, and with each other. Relationships and authentic community matters.

The pandemic amplified the conversation around mental health and the need to honor the worker and foster more compassionate work cultures. The current wars and strife in the world require this now, more than ever. The world is in turmoil, and yet our lives and work must carry on – but how? What role can you, as a leader play? How, and why, do you nurture cultures of care?

I just got off a call with a client, let’s call them Pat, who is working on being more influential with senior leaders. Pat is a senior leader themselves. They are highly affiliative and great at putting people at ease. They tend toward introversion and will let others talk. It’s not that they don’t have a point of view – they usually do. It’s that they take great care in allowing others to be heard and feel included. They don’t feel the need to compete for attention or to be heard. When they have something that they feel needs to be said, then they say it – calmly and deliberately.

And, their affiliative style can be an overused strength. We all want to be liked.

We all have stories we tell ourselves. This is our self-image. We all have stories others tell about us. This is our reputation. Sometimes we internalize not helpful stories others tell about us, and sometimes we need to allow others to know more of who we are or hear feedback on what they have to say.

Suze Shaner is interviewed by Diane Halfman on her podcast “Live Your SPALife” (SPA – Seek Power Always).

What does it mean to be embodying your life and truly living, not just surviving, in a humane organization?