As a leader it’s easy to show up and lead when things are going well. As Jack, one of my former IBM colleagues, always said, “That is not leading. That is going with the flow downriver. True leadership shows up during tough times, when you have to stake a claim and maybe make an unpopular decision, or when you have to set a direction when the future is uncertain.”

I just got off a call with a client, let’s call them Pat, who is working on being more influential with senior leaders. Pat is a senior leader themselves. They are highly affiliative and great at putting people at ease. They tend toward introversion and will let others talk. It’s not that they don’t have a point of view – they usually do. It’s that they take great care in allowing others to be heard and feel included. They don’t feel the need to compete for attention or to be heard. When they have something that they feel needs to be said, then they say it – calmly and deliberately.

And, their affiliative style can be an overused strength. We all want to be liked.

Suze Shaner is interviewed by Diane Halfman on her podcast “Live Your SPALife” (SPA – Seek Power Always).