Follow up Friday: Behavior Matters

Monday’s reflection questions were: What do you value? What makes you happy? What factors enable you to be most productive?

Here is what I noticed in myself and others this week: We can say we value something but our behavior shows what we really value. What we do tells others what is important to us. Look at your calendar and you’ll discover what is really important to you versus what you tell yourself or others. Time tells all.

I can say I value a relationship – with a friend or a spouse – but if I don’t make time to spend quality moments with them, you have to wonder how important they are to me. This goes for any relationship – a colleague, boss or customer. I can say I value their opinion but if I consistently don’t listen to what they have to say, or validate or act on what they have to say, one has to wonder.

Here is what I noticed this week: I value honest relationships where I can be authentic, speak my truth and be respected and validated for it. It doesn’t mean we have to agree but I am seen and heard. This makes me happy – when I am celebrated in this way. When this happens, I can be more productive and go about my day because I am not fighting to be heard or taken seriously or worried about why I revealed that part of myself.

I know I am not alone in this regard. The research validates that teams who not only respect individual differences, but seek they them out and celebrate them, experience several benefits: they have better solutions because everybody is not trying to be an expert in every area and they are able to leverage different perspectives; People feel good about being on the team because they feel respected, even if they aren’t social buddies.What makes me most productive is working with, and being supported by, people who I experience mutual respect with: we value our unique contributions by soliciting each other’s perspective and listening.