Words of Manic Monday by The Bangles and modified by Susan Shaner. Musician: Dan Brodax.

Where can you find the magic at work today?Today is the third anniversary of Sandy Hook. I am particularly aware of this since I live 15 minutes from the school. When traumas of this nature strike, we are effected on all levels. In the case of Sandy Hook, it hit such a chord because of the nature of it: young, innocent school children sitting in their classroom learning. It undermined the inherent trust we, as parents, have in society when we send our child to school everyday.

First, your mind tries to process what really happened. Then you are overcome with shock, anger, sadness, grief – a range of emotions. These become physical and manifest in the body if not fully processed. Getting clear on your emotions and expressing and releasing them is the way to not have any negative emotions lodge themselves in a vulnerable spot in your body and surface weeks or months down the road via illness or disease.

Leaders are not immune from the stress and effects of trauma. The difference is they have more pressure because all eyes are on them and they have to react in a timely and thoughtful manner. They are responsible, which means having the ability to respond. At a time when they may be experiencing all the emotions of the average person – they have to ensure their frontal lobe – rational brain – is working on all cylinders. So it doesn’t mean they don’t feel to the depths or in ways others do. It’s more a question of what do they do with those feelings and when and how they process them.

I heard that one of the first responders to Sandy Hook, a professional with many years experience, handed in his resignation immediately after responding to the scene. It was more than he could bear. Everyone has a different capacity to handle such trauma and you never know what your capacity is, until you are confronted with it.

Some people choose professions where managing trauma is a daily occurrence – therapists, doctors, EMTs to name a few. Being an elementary school teacher is a profession where you would not expect to be confronted with trauma on a daily basis. Yet many of those teachers instinctually rose to the occasion – because they put survival and protection before anything else in that moment. In order to do this, parts of the brain have to shutdown. Otherwise, the individual would be overcome with the horrors. Developing strength, resiliency and the ability to compartmentalize are core skills needed for all leaders today in order to navigate crises and traumas so you can effectively lead people to safe solutions.

Three years from Sandy Hook and sixteen years from Columbine and we still have a serious problem with guns and violence in this country. We all need to help our elected officials better problem solve this issue. In times of crisis and with complex problems, we need deep reflection, engagement and open dialogue to come up with viable, sustainable solutions.

This week’s reflection: Where are you challenged in your own leadership with bouncing back from set backs or traumatic events? What can you do to foster more open dialogue and listening in situations that involve tension or trauma?