I took a break from this blog for 100 days to regroup on my personal and professional life. All I knew is that I needed time to integrate some deeply disturbing personal matters and to not be so public for a time. And despite what I did or didn’t do, stuff happens anyway.
It’s amazing what a business quarter can bring…. And it’s amazing what radical inner re-sculpting events can activate.
My world changed forever and completely in this time:
My father died suddenly and unexpectedly.
Hurricane Sandy wreaked havoc on the Northeast U.S.
The U.S. re-elected President Obama.
My worked carried on but I am different on the inside being effected by these events:
I take nothing for granted.
I am working on radical acceptance of what is.
I have tremendous gratitude for what I have and who I am.
Just those three events aroused a ton of of other emotions in me: grief, sadness, relief, safety, insecurity, loss, hope, joy.
Even though I was able to sit vigil and say good-bye to my dad while the infection that ravaged his body took him within a week, he is still gone and I miss him. Even though I suffered minimal damage from the hurricane, thousands are still suffering and I’m aware of that. Even though I chose Obama as being the better of no-perfect candidate, his re-election still has implications.
Profound loss for what was, what could have been. I’m working on accepting what is. …and understanding what it means for my life going forward.
That’s all for now. Sometimes taking pause and breathing in change is enough. For now.
It’s like in my yoga practice – one of the greatest poses is shavasana. This is where you are lying down resting. It allows for your body to integrate all that has come before it to help it reset itself. In our culture allowing for integration is not valued. We rarely pause and are on to the next thing. Ebb and flow is the grace of nature that can be our greatest teacher, if we allow it.
Sometimes nothing happens on the outside but we change drastically inside. Sometimes major things happen externally and we don’t change inside. Sometimes it’s hard to change both our external circumstances and our worldview at once. All change requires energy – and we have a finite amount to manage. When things are moving, you need stability somewhere to navigate the waters. Slow down and listen. I am talking to myself here.
I’m learning to allow more space between activity and accomplishments. This fosters integration, the precursor to wisdom.
What is new in your world – either on the inside or the outside?
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