Todd Plitt gives a great depiction of how technology is changing the way we grieve. When referring to attending a funeral via live video stream, John Reed (a funeral director) says, “The new generation has grown up with this type of technology. As we move forward, we’re going to see more people who want to do this. The older people will die off, and their values will leave with them.” This was not necessary and extreme – especially given the topic!

I see nothing wrong with attending virtually if one absolutely cannot make it live. I would hope that this would not end up being the norm. Face-to-face human contact, particularly at a time like this, is very important to the bereaved. If human contact dies off, where are we as a species – too busy to take a break from our digital devices to be present?

Technology DOES have a place in the grief process – memories via Facebook (such as Angelo Merendino’s page dedicated to his wife who died of breast cancer), online blogs, guest books, etc. Just keep it in perspective.

A great example of this is when a member of my church lost her husband quickly and unexpectedly this year, someone organized a meal sign up for several months using meal-train. It eliminated the need for phone trees and increased efficiency – and facilitated sensitivity to the bereft’s grieving process. The griever puts their preferences online: how and when to deliver food (so she doesn’t have to be home) and dietary restrictions. The rest of the community signs up and delivers. The bereaved can have her space but also knows we are here if she wants to talk.

Grief is one of the rawest of emotions where you are cracked open and vulnerable. The process is unpredictable and painful. No machine can comfort you. Comments on your Facebook page help but when you shut down the computer if you don’t at some point have a human witness in flesh there with you to give you what you need – a hug, hold your hand, or to just listen – then you are at best prolonging your grief and at worst exacerbating your emotional state.

Nothing can ever replace mindful, compassionate presence. This is why we are messy human BEINGS versus efficient processing MACHINES.

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

Many spiritual teachers espouse: if you can’t live in the moment and are always searching, you will never be happy. This logically makes sense – and I know this experientially.

Tara Brach tells a great Indian myth that generates keen questions to ponder:

What is within you today that makes you happy – or just laugh outloud?

How many moments have you been present and said this is enough?

Is the present moment what you have been looking for?

When have you said this is the center, meaning, preciousness of my life…this is what counts?

Savor it all. Just for today…

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com

You cannot separate peak performance from passion, focus and wellbeing. This implies wellness and being-ness. Good health, presence and peace of mind are equally important to top performance as is knowledge and skill. Being interested – focused and passionate about what you do is critical to your success over time. How you attend to something says everything about you and your results.

Our culture focuses so much on over-the-top dynamic doing that we forget that we are human beings not human doings. We are not endless wells of energy but need filling up with what nourishes us to expend more energy – to be infused with a spirit not just a flat obligation.

Have you ever experienced that flow where you are totally focused, working hard on something but also completely relaxed and at ease? Is this a paradox? No. This is the way we are meant to be. Our minds complicate our expression sometimes.

I’ve had “the flow” when painting a picture, facilitating a workshop or reading to my daughter. They all take focus and a certain amount of skill, experience, knowledge or talent. I enjoy these activities but how do I know I am “really on” and performing them well?

Ultimately it’s about other’s feedback and the objective results. Does the painting evoke thought and emotion in others? Is paint skillfully applied? Do workshop participants understand and respond to my questions? Did they learn something? Did their learning effect their life or job performance? Is my daughter engaged in the story? Did the way I read the story engage her to step into another land or character’s mind?

Identify something you are good at and love to do. Can you do more of it? I guarantee this will impact all areas of your life and work.

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com

I find exploring myths, symbolism and how stories affect us, help us create meaning and sense of our lives.
A couple days after the New Year, I was in my office when my assistant yelled to me, “Come quick! Look!”
“It’s like Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds!” Ew, I thought.

Out the bay window I saw dozens of crows descending on the property – with no apparent motive or place to go. Over the next half hour they proceeded to fly back and forth between our property and the neighbors – and then dispersed. We were curious – what’s going on, what does this mean??? We googled – A few notes:

There are a myriad of perspectives – mythical, poetic, scientific, and those we make up ourselves.

The American Society of Crows and Ravens says that crows “have nothing to do with what we think about them. Death and suicide are our problems, not theirs.”

Dr. Kevin J. McGowan from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology says, ”The poetic term for a bunch of crows is a ‘murder.’ No scientist calls them that, only poets. Scientists would call it a flock.”

One reference said crows congregate on lawns to eat grubs. But they didn’t look like there were eating. Besides, what’s different about the lawn this year than last?

A shaman site said: ”Crows are adaptable to all environments and will eat almost anything, they can survive in almost any situation. …They are surrounded by magic, unseen forces and spiritual strength. If a crow enters your life, get out of your familiar nest, look beyond your present range of vision, listen to the message(s) in its caw and act accordingly.”

I just finished a year where my house was literally turned upside down – botched home renovation infecting every room, leaving us homeless for a while – my daughter started high school, step-son started college, both my parents had major medical crises, I had a major milestone birthday and my clients went through dramatic changes. So, the upheaval of 2011 forced me to get out of my comfort zone big time – to rethink my life and business and act accordingly.

It could be grubs, but I choose to see the flock of crows as a sign for 2012 to expect the unexpected, expect surprise visitors, and if I pay attention – this “magic” can take me to a broader perspective with unforeseen possibilities.

What are you doing to ready yourself to seek and take advantage of the “magic” opportunities coming out of nowhere – or to look for the sublime in the benign?

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.         www.sagelead.com

Solstice, Full Moon, Lunar Eclipse. An incredible time to work with the energy of the earth to set intentions for next year. What do you want to clear and make way for new growth next year?

According to Grove Harris: “Winter Solstice, Dec. 21, 2010 packs a celestial punch with a full moon and a full lunar eclipse, visible in the Americas if we’re lucky enough to have a clear sky and energetic enough to be up. The eclipse will be visible after midnight EST, reaching it’s maximum at 3:15 a.m. The last winter solstice eclipse was in 1638, and this one will be topped off by the Ursid meteor shower. Even city lights won’t block out all this action.

“In New England, winter solstice marks the first day of winter and the beginning of the return of the sun. While the cold deepens, the lengthening days show a welcome turning towards spring’s renewal. This gives a message of hope: frozen ground, relentless cold and the darkest season will not last forever….

“…preserving hope is one role of religion — to help people negotiate how to remain hopeful despite adversity and to live in the realm of possibility rather than in despair, no matter how warranted. The winter solstice models this on a celestial level. No problem between science and religion here. When it’s darkest, the light begins to return. And this year, the full lunar eclipse reinforces that message. Light and dark are intimately interconnected.”
Where can you find hope when it’s the darkest?

www.sagelead.com

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.” By Henry Van Dyke

Today those of us in the United States celebrate our Thanksgiving – started from a time when we were thankful to have a new land that supported freedom.

It  is my favorite holiday because it is only about sharing a meal with loved ones and not buying a ton of gifts. Enjoy and express gratitude to those who have blessed your life.

Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC   www.sagelead.com

By this I mean recreation, not reinventing your career. I mean having real downtime so you can come back to your problems and challenges with renewed energy and different insight. AND ENJOY your life – AND the PROCESS of your life.

Yesterday was my birthday so I took the day off. I usually do on this day. If you can’t take it off on your birthday, then when can you? Afterall, if you can’t celebrate you, how can you expect anyone else to?

What did I do? In modern, American terms: NOTHING. NO-THING.

Nothing PRODUCTIVE.

I slept in, lounged around while my husband serenaded me on guitar. I picked up my bongo drum and joined in. I meditated, did yoga, wrote in my journal, and got my family (teenagers, sans electronics) to go for a hike in the woods with me. Sounds very hippish? It was a heavy dose of taking in and reflection. And then I topped it off with a high calorie, decadent dinner out – lava cake and all!

No, I am not recreating the movie Eat, Pray, Love. I’ve been doing this on my birthday all my life. The key is to periodically do this throughout the year. I work hard and am a driver by nature plunked down into a culture that reinforces these attirbutes. So, if I don’t manage myself – who will? The rewards are integration and renewal… and living from a full versus depleted cup.

Pick a day in the week where you are intentionally NOT productive and do all the things you love. Experiencing productivity withdrawal? Guilt? Then start small and pick at least an hour or 30 minutes. This nothing thing is actually productive. I dare ya. Try it.

Copyright 2010 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC   All rights reserved.   www.sagelead.com

Mark Twain once said: “A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn no other way.”

We all have been there – many days, months or years later, we say, “that was the best learning experience I ever had.”… but while we are going through it, we are cursing the day this person or situation came into our lives.

Here’s to appreciating the gift of the painful lessons. I suggest not shying away from whatever it is that seems distasteful to you, especially when you know there are high rewards – if you can “suffer through it.”

Suffering is so overrated. Let’s skip that part – just for today. Carry the cat anyway.

Copyright 2010 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC   All rights reserved.   www.sagelead.com

We live in incredible times. I can be sitting at the beach watching the fireworks and have you “there” with me. Snap, crackle pop – sideways!

Fireworks

“You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness.  You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.”   ~Erma Bombeck

Today, I attended a very close friend’s father’s funeral. He was 91 and had an illustrious career as a physician in a specialty area at a prominent New York City Hospital. As with many occasions like this, I was moved by what his family and colleagues said. They spoke about his manner in making the contributions he made to his patients and medicine. He was described as “an old school physician” who had a personal touch, even once driving a patient in an acute state to the hospital in his own car while the patient threw up! His children spoke eloquently and emotionally about the kind of man their father was. I knew him and will miss him.

My friend’s husband said, “It just makes all the politics and office stuff seem so trivial.”

We all have defining moments like this when we are moved, touched by how fleeting life is and called to respond to something larger than ourselves and our view of the world. And then we go “back to reality.” Or, go back to sleep.

All strategic planning processes start wtih the end in mind. What’s your life strategy? What do you want your obituary to say? Morbid. Maybe. But if you don’t envision the totality of your life and what you want it to be about, you may swim real hard upstream, and miss the boat. Or be on the wrong boat.

So set your sail and do some envisioning of what you really WANT and feel CALLED to accomplish – at home with loved ones – and in the world - with how you make money and give back.

What do you want your reality to be? Question your assumptions and perceptions about what is possible. Have you ever had an erroneous belief?

© Copyright Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC    All rights reserved.   www.sagelead.com