“I learned I wasn’t in charge of success.  I was in charge of the process that hopefully would yield more success than failure.  I began to be guided by three navigational stakes:

1. My process and my diligence to execute was the best I could do.
2. My attitude and determination to remain positive and confident was a critical catalyst for my success.
3. My resiliency and ability to see failure as but a speed bump on the road to success allowed me to get back up when I was knocked down. “

These are keen insights from Peter Gruber, in his blog post: “Dealing With The Turkeys In Your Life.” At a time, when we are experiencing a lot of chaos, uncertainty and failure – by leaders, corporations and organizations – it’s important to take a longer-term perspective and understand the science of success. You cannot omit failure from the equation, particularly if you are wrestling with building alternative solutions in a complex and changing landscape.

The key is accepting and working with this reality, learning to play and keep your ego in check. Really living like you can’t control others and events, is the first step to wisdom. Acting on what you can control and accepting what you can’t is necessary to taking control of your life or your organization. Anyone in sales will tell you, being successful is a numbers game.

I hate sports analogies but a baseball one is helpful here: the more times up at bat the greater your opportunity to score runs. The more you risk, the greater your chances of succeeding are. This also raises your chance of failing as well. Babe Ruth, an American baseball player who, in his day, beat the record for highest number of homeruns, also had a significantly high number of strikeouts. Why? Every time he was up at bat he gave it his all and was trying for the homerun. His homerun to hits was about 3:1.

If you aren’t risking and sticking your neck out until you feel uncertain, then you are missing an opportunity for real growth – which always lies beyond that which you know or have mastered. Once you’ve done your due diligence and analysis, any decision has an element of artistry or judgment. These days that element may be more pronounced. Failure must accompany sustained or repeated success. Accept this and move on.

It’s not about never failing but asking yourself, what do you do when you fail? Cover it up, rationalize it or own it. How do you learn from it and incorporate it into you how you move forward? What kind of support do you need to increase and sustain the amount of time you are stretched out on a limb?

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

I’m hard pressed to find a difference. Both are focused on what is good and positive and building on this for positive results.

“Positive Psychology is the scientific study of the strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive…This field is founded on the belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves, and to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play.”

This is a departure from the traditional field of psychology and traditional therapy which emphasizes mental illness or what is wrong with us.

The International Coaches Federation (ICF) “defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.” This definition was buried deep in their website. This organization is a valiant effort to set up some kind of standards so unschooled or inexperienced people can’t hang out their shingle and declare themselves a coach.

Both disciplines focus on building on what works, what our strengths are. Neither is focused on what is broken.

ICF defines the distinction between therapy and coaching as:

“Coaching can be distinguished from therapy in a number of ways. First, coaching is a profession that supports personal and professional growth and development based on individual-initiated change in pursuit of specific actionable outcomes. These outcomes are linked to personal or professional success. Coaching is forward moving and future focused.”

Therapy can say all this, especially positive psychology-based.

“Therapy, on the other hand, deals with healing pain, dysfunction and conflict within an individual or a relationship between two or more individuals. The focus is often on resolving difficulties arising from the past which hamper an individual’s emotional functioning in the present, improving overall psychological functioning, and dealing with present life and work circumstances in more emotionally healthy ways.”

This is a description of some modalities of therapy. At my last count there are over 250 therapeutic modalities, with positive psychology being one of them.

“Therapy outcomes often include improved emotional/feeling states. While positive feelings/emotions may be a natural outcome of coaching, the primary focus is on creating actionable strategies for achieving specific goals in one’s work or personal life. The emphasis in a coaching relationship is on action, accountability and follow through.”

Both therapy and coaching should focus on insight, behavior change, actionable strategies and outcomes with positive emotional states if they are doing their jobs effectively. How can you heal someone without enhancing positive emotions? How can someone achieve their goals if they are negative?

In terms of coaching, I don’t know how you can help someone have and be more of what they want in their life or work without dealing with their feelings.

In the marketplace of free enterprise – does it matter what someone calls themselves as long as the consumer goes in with their eyes open and is clear on what they are getting and feels that their Coach or Therapist has given them a service of value – has joined with them in their process to help them move their life forward in ways where they are achieving their goals and thriving?

Regardless of your profession – all of life and work is a healing process to help us be more of who we can be – more whole – fulfill our potential. We are all fragmented in some way or not as “good” as we can be. Each professional practitioner has pieces or elements that help us get more of what we want in work and life. They have similar training and toolkits around deep listening, client relationship building. They may have different theoretical models and frameworks, which do factor in, in terms of orientation and approach to the work.

The disciplines use some different language that appeals to different audiences. Does it matter if they are essentially talking about the same thing? Targeted language is important. Could it be that it comes down to what label someone is comfortable with?

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com

If an executive coach is what you seek, first make sure the person has experience working in a business context on business and leadership issues and not selling life coaching experience.

If a life coach is what you seek, the clearer and more narrow you can be on what you want to work on, the more successful you’ll be in finding a coach who can meet your needs. Instead of overall “life” try to focus on one key area such as lifestyle, losing weight, meditation, relationships, or career. Split focus will get you dissipated results and you may not find a coach who really has expertise in your chosen area.

Cedric Johnson, a Psychologist and Consultant, concisely summarized key questions that qualify a person to coach another. Does this person:

1. Have knowledge and skills in behavior change?

2. Deeply understand the world of their clients?

3. Have supervision and direct feedback on an ongoing basis?

4. Have a self-knowledge and self regulation not to get dragged into the emotional morass of the client?

5. Have wisdom and experience not to practice outside of their area of competence?

6. See real lasting change in their clients as a result of their service?

My adds:

1. What is their approach and orientation to the work?

2. Ask for referrals: from your potential coach; from your friends and colleagues who have worked with someone they liked – and got results with.

Once you have screened on competence and expertise, the final cut is for chemistry/fit. You need to develop a trusted advisor relationship with your coach, otherwise you are marginalizing or jeopardizing your success. All true change takes place within a context of safety that will allow you to take risks, search, test, practice and grow. Factor your gut into the equation.

Ultimately you want someone who is willing to share “graceful truths” with you – tell you the truth in a direct way that you can hear it and act on it.

What do you think?

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com

Yep.

If you’re a star can-do person – then set your sights on higher or different goals that rock your world.  What will really test this attitude so you know where it’s coming from and how strong it is?

To achieve self-mastery, you must be willing to break beyond your current level of success or competency. This is how you get to the next level of success and can only be done by embracing different kinds of challenges. It’s like strengthening a muscle. To lift a weight you actually break down the fiber of the muscle. With a day or two of rest in-between the heavy lifting, this exercise makes the muscle stronger. Rest is key as it allows for integration and a rebuilding.

What do you need to breakdown (eliminate or reduce) or exercise more of to make you a stronger leader – more in control of yourself and therefore better able to influence others?

• Breakdown could be your apathy. What has you numbed or defensive to caring about how others experience a challenge? What buttons do they press in you? Where do they need more of your support? How deep do you have to dig to be present to their perspective?

• Exercise could be a strength that is not fully leveraged. Are you showing your team how you stay positive and can-do despite repeated obstacles or setbacks? How do you transfer this strength to them? A positive team in unison can move mountains.

Ultimately all activity is comprised of exercise, breakdown, rest and build up for optimal results. In leadership development terms, I identify rest as reflection. Stepping back and integrating what you are working (or pushing) on helps you understand if you need to make an adjustment on the breakdown, exercise or rest (let it go) piece of the equation.

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com

An Entrepreneur is someone who “organizes, operates and assumes the risk for a business venture.”

In a recent Teds video, Cameron Herold says we need to be raising more of our kids to aspire to be entrepreneurs, leaders who create jobs, versus getting good “safe” jobs. Even with MBA students we groom them to get corporate jobs. Key tips:

• Teach your children not to waste money.
• Teach your children to save a large percentage of the money they make from an early age.
• Ask your kids to look around the house and yard and come back with a proposal of what needs to get done and how much they would charge for it. Negotiate with them on the final fee.
• Make one night a week story telling vs. story reading at bedtime. Give them 5 items and ask them to make a story about it. This teaches them to think on their feet, develops creativity and polish and confidence with speaking.
• Foster in them the following: attainment, persistence, tenacity, sales, handling failure, boot strapping, speaking, leadership.

I believe that developing a comfort level with taking and managing risks, and working into the unknown are skills and character traits that will only increase in demand in the 21st century.  Why not identify kid’s entrepreneur potential in school versus just slotting them on the talented math, English or science tracks?

These times are screaming for applied creativity in business ventures. What if your entrepreneurial spirit and appetite for taking risks were fostered in school? These can best be addressed, as Herold says, by remembering when you were a kid and all things were possible. It’s time to dream and play. And never give up.