When the stakes are high, it’s necessary to be in alignment to get the right results.
During my flight lesson this week I sought a safe, informative and fun flying experience. I put my life in the hands of my pilot/instructor – what could be higher stakes? You’ll notice in my video clip that my shoulders couldn’t be closer to my instructor.

Co-Piloting

Tight quarters – yes – but I also needed to be closely aligned in mind and spirit as well in order to heed his instruction. My motivations were a desire to learn, to not crash and stay alive and to keep Lloyd focused – our lives depended upon it.

In order to listen, I needed to have complete trust and faith in his abilities – skill and wisdom. I learned that flying not only requires understanding a vast amount of technical knowledge but also paying attention and listening to the view, movement and sound of the sky to know just how to adjust the wings. So too, with leadership, we need to listen to our environment and those we serve to know how to adjust our wings – our ego, our actions, our words – to have the impact we want.

All co-pilots know they need to be seamless, complementary and volleying with their movements and skill to act as one unit that propels the plane forward. It requires being a leader and follower.

As a leader, how do you engender trust in others? When you have a high stakes situation, how well prepared are you? Do you listen to, and trust your gut instincts? As a follower, how well do you listen and get your ego out of the way? How well can you volley control back and forth from leader to follower?

© Copyright 2011 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved. www.sagelead.com

It rests not just in legislation but with how providers choose to behave in their day-day patient interactions. Thomas Dahlborg has a great blog that reflects on putting “care” back into health care and that this is what doctor’s promise when they take their oath.

This week, I had a follow up appointment with my surgeon on a benign biopsy. In a cost-conscious, productivity-minded system, I experienced my doctor as a humble, accountable human.

My appointment last week was cancelled last minute because he had emergency surgery. I rescheduled this week and his office called me the morning of my appointment – they had a cancellation, did I want to come in earlier? I said yes.

After sitting in the waiting and then patient room for 50 minutes, I still hadn’t seen the doctor. My time is valuable and sitting around during a weekday is money spent for me. I poked my head out of the room to see if he was in sight. As I opened the door, the doctor came in. I shared my experience: “I’m flexible but this is enough waiting.” He immediately said, “I’m sorry. I take full responsibility.”

Wow. This stopped me in my tracks. How refreshing. He then took his time to explain everything to me in language I could understand. He was not arrogant, curt, or harried. He was slow, focused, deliberate and present with me. I was a real human in front of him. He spent whatever time I needed to answer my questions.

This is all we ask of our healthcare providers: To remember that they are treating a whole person who has an ailment, not an ailment attached to a person. My doctor demonstrated empathy, care and compassion – an often low-leveraged human technology that shifts one’s experience. His behavior may have been helped by the fact that he was just back from his own medical leave after having surgery. Perhaps he could more easily walk in my shoes.

© Copyright 2011 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved. www.sagelead.com

Growing a Faith Community has it’s own unique leadership challenges. Given my professional background, I was asked by the President of the Board of my church to lead a team to study what would be entailed to grow our congregation. There ended up being 6 of us, including the President and Minister on the team. It was one of the most rewarding team experiences for me personally – and the Board was happy with our results. When I reflect on why, it had to do with our individual and collective love and passion for what we stand for, and that we set up a culture of learning within the team and best leveraged each others’ background and expertise – and some of my own personal learnings about my faith and myself as a leader. As is expected in any team, we had our share of tension with very different backgrounds, learning, communication and work styles.

This challenged us to not just give lip service, but to really live one of our guiding principles, “To respect the inherent worth and dignity of all persons” within the context of our work. We are a volunteer organization, working around multiple schedules, and trying to do good work that doesn’t get too protracted so we can make needed progress.

We initially started out thinking we could accomplish our task in 3-6 months. As we moved into the real learning of the work, it evolved to 12 months – and we also learned that even “do-gooder, high mission” organizations can be afflicted by the potential for high achieving sabotage and at some point you need to declare victory. Particularly for any service-driven organization, the right balance of inputs and outputs requires necessary tending to so the active few don’t get burned out and the work stays right focused: generated from the mission and joy versus drive.

In allowing ourselves to live with what we were reading, reflecting on and discussing – to really go deep and be aware of our own process as well – we ended up making recommendations for how to move forward based on patience and wisdom, not fear. There are immediate things we could do yet there is also work that we need to live into. You may say, this is easier for a religious organization. Yet, I offer it is just as, or more challenging in some ways – because we have a diversity of beliefs within our religion (some don’t even like the word “church”) and we have the same challenge as all non-profits: making enough money not only to keep the lights on, but to get our message and work more broadly out into the world during these times of fear and crisis.

One challenge lies in being open to all regardless of their monetary means but also challenging those who can give more, to give – in proportion to what they feel they receive in kind – by way of community, support or inspiration. It reminds me of a clip on NPR this morning where a disgruntled listener complained that the station is too biased, but listens every morning, and won’t donate. He did agree to keep a log and share specific stories for one week. I say, it’s okay to challenge or criticize but if you receive or take, you could also give back in some way, whether it is your time, talent or treasure. People’s true values speak most loudly through their time and wallets …

© Copyright 2011 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved. www.sagelead.com

In “Neuroscience and Leadership: The Promise of Insights,” Richard Boyatzis discusses implications of recent studies that say a leader’s emotional state effects their employees – in as quickly as 8 milliseconds. That’s instantly. This is reminiscent of Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink.

“Our unconscious emotional states are arousing emotions in those with whom we interact before we or they know it. And it spreads from these interactions to others.”

Science is catching up with what many of us know intuitively. You know if your boss is having a good or bad day. You can feel their energy as they walk by. This is actually their electromagnetic field preceding them and you literally sense it.

Do you really need these studies to tell you it’s better to be social and engage your employees in positive, hopeful discussions versus being negative and only focusing on metrics?

What’s new is Boyatzis and Goldman, etc. continue to pave the way for making it okay for leaders to talk about “having techniques to notice [your] feelings (i.e., know that you are having feelings and become aware of them), label or understand what they are (i.e., giving a label to vague or gnawing sensations), and then signal yourself that you should do something to change your mood and state.”

Therapy or Coaching? Does it matter the label as long as we stay clear on the business goals and context to support more of your engaging, positive self showing up with your employees. The reality is coaching steals techniques from therapy and vice versa. The lines are blurred. Fostering greater emotional awareness doesn’t mean necessarily putting someone into psychoanalysis. The end goal is to have the leader “be” in such a way that s/he engenders an open environment where employees can do their most creative work. Isn’t this what all leaders want?

© Copyright 2011 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved. www.sagelead.com

This requires Downtime, Discipline, Rewiring your Brain.

I went away in January by myself on a caribbean retreat. I was offline, completely disconnected for two weeks. I had coverage at home and work – worry-free! I did a lot of thinking, writing and walking on the beach. Ah – no more noise! My system calmed down and I found my own voice again. It was heaven.

This was a stark contrast to what I experienced upon “re-entry” back into the atmosphere of 21st century constant availability. I came back to a snow crisis, client needs and a backlog of emails. I tried to do too much, too quickly. I got sick. This slowed me down. It helped me see that I need to be more disciplined in saying “no,” deferring or delegating. I continued my meditation practice.

McKinsey’s article Recovering From Information Overload offers some additional strategies.

If you’re already overloaded, here are the key points – information overload makes us anxious and we need to focus, filter and forget.

Easier said than done!

The “need” to be connected constantly is an addiction – we get hooked into fear – of missing something, not being current, etc. We can rewire ourselves for greater capacity and reduced reactivity which allows us to be more selective, proactive, clearer thinking.

My (edited) McKinsey comments:
Changing this behavior comes down to better self-management.

1. Understand and manage your own motives,
2. Enforce team norms for support – initially this may require outside support,
3. Rewire different neural pathways in the brain to not be reactive.

We give our clients concrete tools to calm down the mind and rewire the brain for response versus reaction. When one leads by shifting their energy, it impacts everyone around them – their family, their team, department or organization.

© Copyright 2011 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved. www.sagelead.com

There is a time to lead and a time to follow.

The true calling of a conscious leader in these changing times is recognizing which is which.
The complexities, dependencies and crises of today call for leaders to carry a lot.

How much do you carry?
When you can’t carry, how do you know it?
When you can’t carry, what do you do?
When you can’t carry, how do you ask for help?

When you can carry, what do you do?
When you can carry more because you feel full and you need to release your talents and gifts, what do you do?
When you can carry, how do you ask – what can I do to help?
When you can carry, how do you make it okay for others who can’t carry?
When you can carry, how do you care for others who can’t carry?

When you are upset at others who can’t carry, how do you recognize yourself in them?
When you are upset at others who are carrying, how do you recognize yourself in them?
We may all – leaders and followers – have our time of being in both places.

The conscious leader discerns when, and in what context to lead or follow.
Care.
Care.
Care.
But do not neglect Self-care.
You must make it okay to leave and come back to this, otherwise you will not lead from a full cup.

© Copyright 2011 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved. www.sagelead.com

We are 6 days into the new year, and I don’t know about you, but the speed of change is picking up – the tension is palpable wherever I go. Even if changes are positive or desired, it can still feel like an unmanageable blast.

When it feels as if everything is, or needs to happen at once. What’s a leader to do?
Go slower.

Right.

2011 will be a year of transformational change – with things coming out of nowhere. With this kind of activity, it can feel like your head is spinning – multiple demands, uncertainty, going into unknown territory.

This is exactly when you want to take a deep breath and pretend someone has hit the slow speed button on your life movie. Or, as my brother says, imagine you are walking in peanut butter. This will give you a chance to hit the pause button to allow your brain to process what is happening to make better decisions.

When we live in a microwavable world, we think if we wait 10 minutes to respond to that email, text or phone call, we’ll miss that deal or be unacceptably behind on the to do list. It’s all an illusion and a matter of perspective. I chucked my microwave a long time ago and in those extra two minutes waiting for that water to boil, I’ve conjured up all sorts of great ideas.

© Copyright 2011 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved. www.sagelead.com

You may be wearing a mask this weekend for Halloween. It’s the one time of year where we are out there and honest with the mask we are wearing.

Yet we all wear a mask everyday. We wear a mask every time we don’t speak our truth. We are hiding behind some other person or way of being because….

we want to be loved

we want to be accepted

we want to please

we want to be successful

we want…

you name it. The list goes on.

Whenever we are not true to ourselves – stepped into the full integrity of our own shoes – we are out of alignment. Walking around wearing a mask expends so much more of our energy than we need to. Think how freeing it would be if we could let down our mask and could be more of ourselves. What’s behind the mask? Fear.

We hold ourselves back because we are afraid:

Of someone else’s reaction

Of not being loved

Of failing

Of….

It’s as hard and simple as loving and accepting yourself without restraint. Try this on for size: “What you think about me is none of my business.” If you truly loved yourself would you care what I or anyone else thinks about what you do or say?

Therein lies the challenge: To embrace who you fully are without restraint.

So, Happy Halloween. Wear your mask and practice allowing your true self to shine through. It can give you the courage to take down the other mask more often after Halloween.

Copyright 2010 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC   All rights reserved.   www.sagelead.com

“Failure is the tuition you pay for success.” ~Walter Brunell

It doesn’t matter that you fail at anything. What matters is that you don’t repeat the same failure by capturing your learnings. This will help ensure success next time. If all you have are successes, how can you really strengthen your perseverance and tenacity muscles needed for these challenging times?

And no one can succeed all the time, so there is no point in hiding it. Reflect, learn, forgive yourself and others, master and move on. This is how we grow. Each step carries with it it’s own unique challenges and rewards.

Copyright 2010 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC   All rights reserved.   www.sagelead.com

“If experience was so important, we’d never have anyone walk on the moon.” (By Doug Rader)

Sometimes you just have to trust your intuition. We are living in times where old structures, identities – what we have known to be true - are falling away or dying – because they don’t work. You can’t lie to yourself anymore about who you are or what your purpose is. Companies can’t cut corners on integrity anymore.

The times are calling for new vision, courage and the bold audacity to reinvent yourself or your business.

It’s time to clean out and reboot.

…And lean into the wind of possibility.

Copyright 2010 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC   All rights reserved.   www.sagelead.com