I don’t understand why The Golf Writers Association of America boycotted Woods’s reading of his statement, saying the news conference should have been opened to all accredited media and the golfer should have taken questions. It was most honorable that he made such a deep and heartfelt public apology asking for forgiveness from his family, friends, fans and sponsors.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, it is very difficult and painful to admit our mistakes and transgressions to ourselves let alone broadcast it to the world. Is this about understanding and healing or making a buck? How much does the public really have “rights to” the details of a public figure’s private life especially at a sensitive time of healing when they have retreated from their public obligations? 

Yes, a lot of people have a financial and emotional investment in Tiger Woods – so he should be accountable to them for that, given he is a public figure. Beyond this, I don’t think it is necessary or “right” for them to dictate HOW he apologizes.

© Copyright Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC             www.sagelead.com

There are a number of significant differences with Tiger’s situation. He has taken time out to reassess his life through intensive therapy. He apologized and acknowledged that he thought he was entitled – he doesn’t get to play by different rules than everyone else. I have never heard such sentiments from a powerful public figure. He apologized to the children for whom he is a role model. He appears genuine.

The road to true transformation is messy and chaotic with no quick fixes. He acknowledged he is at just the very beginning of this process. The challenge of any great leader who is at the top of their field is to not to allow their ego to run their life. When their success comes with a lot of money and a lot of people riding on this money, the stakes and temptations are even higher.

My biggest hope for Tiger’s reform is in his approach – taking full accountability for his actions and trying to protect his family from further damage and exposure – and above all else where he rests his ultimate solution – to rebalance his spiritual life with his professional life. He is looking to reclaim his spiritual foundation and values – and recognizes he can’t do it alone. He needs the support and help of the very same people he has disappointed. This humility is the way of the sage leader.

Ultimately, I am with Elin – true atonement comes over time seeing a real change in behavior. Tiger has made the necessary first step – asking for forgiveness. This requires something on all our parts – understanding and giving him and his family privacy to journey through this difficult process.

For the judges in the audience, please remember the great adage: all saints were once sinners and all sinners can be saints.

© Copyright Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC                 www.sagelead.com

I am not excusing Tiger Woods from his digressions in any way.

However, given all the many public figures whom have fallen from grace due to transgressions – sexual, money or otherwise – his apology appears to be one of the most authentic and heartfelt.

He did not express a dismissive “I’m sorry,” nor is he indicating this is all past him. Instead he paints a very realistic picture that he has just begun a journey of healing that requires intensive treatment and will take time. As with any healing process, he is starting with trying to make amends – in his own words – he has a lot “to atone for.”

Many disgraced public leaders make apologies after much pressure from the media and their constituents. For those skeptics who say he’s doing this because there is a lot of money riding on his comeback, I say, pay attention to HOW he made his apology – the tone and tenor – and you will see a sincerity that I have not witnessed with other fallen leaders.

© Copyright Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC           www.sagelead.com

There has traditionally been a lot of talk and development about leaders developing good listening skills. It’s seems obvious and basic that this a requisite skill for a leader to be effective – to listen to their constituents in order to best meet their needs. It’s necessary to listen to your customers, to listen to your peers, partners, suppliers, and employees.

But first, and foremost, you need to listen to yourself – that inner voice that is constantly in the background. What is it saying? Is it a constant chatter, a chaos of noise, or a focused subtle drumbeat? We all have our inner voice – critic, partner, confidant.

Our “inner” constituent is our most important one. Unless we exercise tools and strategies to pay attention to what it is saying and quiet it, pay attention to it and/or direct it, we can never be fully present and able to listen to those constituents in front of us.

Just for today, take a deep breath in, count to 10, and exhale to a count of 10. Do this 3 times.  You have just created space in your head and in your day. What did you hear?

To help with understanding your inner voice, I highly recommend The Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz.

© Copyright Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC      www.sagelead.com

A great leader is in command of navigating the nooks and crannies and ups and downs of life.  A friend recently emailed me this “handbook” for life. There are a ton of emails and blogs out there with similar stuff but I liked how this is categorized, practical and simple. It starts with health, which is the foundation for your life. When you master your personality, you can get out of your own way so you can contribute to society. This is how to have a happy life. Enjoy.

HANDBOOK 2010

    Health:
    1. Drink plenty of water.
    2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
    3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
    4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
    5. Pray.
    6. Play more games.
    7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
    8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
    9. Sleep for 7 hours.
    10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

    Personality:
    11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
    12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
    13.. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
    14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
    15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
    16. Dream more while you are awake
    17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
    18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
    19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
    20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
    21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
    22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
    23. Smile and laugh more.
    24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

    Society:
    25. Call your family often.
    26. Each day give something good to others.
    27. Forgive everyone for everything.
    28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
    29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
    30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
    31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

    Life:
    32. Do the right thing!
    33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
    34. GOD heals everything.
    35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
    36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
    37. The best is yet to come.
    38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
    39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

    Last but not the least:
    40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did.

Author Uknown

The best gift we can give loved ones over the holidays is to truly be present.

“The holidays are a good time to renew your heart connection with people. Make that your focus and priority. Spend more time enjoying people and their holiday spirit and it can help rekindle your holiday spirit. A great way you can enjoy more of the holiday spirit is by keeping your focus on genuinely appreciating and caring for others. Ask yourself each morning, ‘Who can I show a little more appreciation to, or who can I express more genuine care for today?’ It can be as simple as opening the door for someone or telling people that you appreciate them. Genuine gestures of care and appreciation are often remembered long after the holiday glitter is gone. You’ll find this is a fun gift for others and a big gift to yourself.”

Excerpts from Tips To Prevent Holiday Stress And Avoid Faking The Holiday Spirit article, Huffington Post Dec. 2009 by Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman, Ph.D

Courtesy of the Institute of HeartMath:

“Into your heart, pour generous quantities of love and care. Stir gently and sincerely. If the mixture is lumpy, add compassion and forgiveness and continue stirring ’til the lumps are dissolved. You may find bubbles of hope rising to the surface. Taste-testing at this point is encouraged. Although you will find the mixture already flavorful, you can enhance it by adding appreciation.
Appreciation for the qualities of your heart, for friends and family, or for this special time of year are all excellent flavor choices. Garnish with a sprig of joy and serve in large spoonfuls to everyone you meet this holiday season.”

Joseph Campbell, a great prophet of mysticism and the human condition, once said: “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”

Instead of fighting the tide and wondering when things will return to normal, focus on what lies in front of you and accept this is what IS, not what SHOULD be or what you would LIKE it to be.

What IS presents you with your Plan B – what God gave you while you were busy making other plans. Acceptance is the first step toward freeing up your creativity and kicking it in gear with better options.

So… now that you are no longer wasting your energy on swimming upstream….

So, now what?

I just came across an article in the Wall Street Journal written several months ago where Jack Welch commented that there is no such thing as work life balance, particularly for women. You bet he got strong comments!

Here is my take: I think work life balance is all about choices based upon what you value. As with all choices there are trade offs and consequences. The big debates come into play when you reflect on what your actual career aspirations are and what is doable in terms of what you want in life – whether it is to take time off to have children and not work or work part-time or whether you just want to work full-time and have a life. Do you live to work or work to live?

If you have CEO aspirations, there is a prevalent paradigm that exists that it is not possible to become CEO or achieve high executive levels and have a balanced life. I say this depends… on who you are and your work culture.

Technology has introduced a lot more flexiblity in terms of where and when we work. It’s up to us humans to push back on workload and not try and do it all this week or this month.

Do I believe it is possible as a woman (or man) to “have it all” – a primary passionate relationship, close connection with your kids and creative, lucrative and fulfilling work? ABSOLUTELY!!

…Maybe not in the same, hour, day, month or year, but over the course of your life. It’s a question of when and how. What do you really want and are you willing to pay the price? Be honest with yourself – you’ll save yourself a lot of time and effort long-term.

Copyright 2009 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC      www.sagelead.com

Thank you to my friend Denise for these wise words today.

“May the following poem give you some tasty food for thought.