I took a break from this blog for 100 days to regroup on my personal and professional life. All I knew is that I needed time to integrate some deeply disturbing personal matters and to not be so public for a time. And despite what I did or didn’t do, stuff happens anyway.

It’s amazing what a business quarter can bring…. And it’s amazing what radical inner re-sculpting events can activate.

My world changed forever and completely in this time:

My father died suddenly and unexpectedly.
Hurricane Sandy wreaked havoc on the Northeast U.S.
The U.S. re-elected President Obama.

My worked carried on but I am different on the inside being effected by these events:

I take nothing for granted.
I am working on radical acceptance of what is.
I have tremendous gratitude for what I have and who I am.

Just those three events aroused a ton of of other emotions in me: grief, sadness, relief, safety, insecurity, loss, hope, joy.

Even though I was able to sit vigil and say good-bye to my dad while the infection that ravaged his body took him within a week, he is still gone and I miss him. Even though I suffered minimal damage from the hurricane, thousands are still suffering and I’m aware of that. Even though I chose Obama as being the better of no-perfect candidate, his re-election still has implications.

Profound loss for what was, what could have been. I’m working on accepting what is. …and understanding what it means for my life going forward.

That’s all for now. Sometimes taking pause and breathing in change is enough. For now.

It’s like in my yoga practice – one of the greatest poses is shavasana. This is where you are lying down resting. It allows for your body to integrate all that has come before it to help it reset itself. In our culture allowing for integration is not valued. We rarely pause and are on to the next thing. Ebb and flow is the grace of nature that can be our greatest teacher, if we allow it.

Sometimes nothing happens on the outside but we change drastically inside. Sometimes major things happen externally and we don’t change inside. Sometimes it’s hard to change both our external circumstances and our worldview at once. All change requires energy – and we have a finite amount to manage. When things are moving, you need stability somewhere to navigate the waters. Slow down and listen. I am talking to myself here.

I’m learning to allow more space between activity and accomplishments. This fosters integration, the precursor to wisdom.

What is new in your world – either on the inside or the outside?

Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

As spoken so eloquently by Lois Geller. If you have a strong brand – when someone sees your logo, hears your name or the name of your company, they immediately have a gestalt of who you are and what you are about. They have a visceral, emotional connection to the essence of what your brand represents.

Lois goes on to say that a great brand has a “patina” on it. This is a film on a bronze or copper piece that lets you know it’s an authentic antique. Strong brands have an authenticity about them that allows you to instantly identify them amidst the clutter of competing attention. There is an implicit trust that your brand will deliver on what you promise.

Here at Sage Leadership, we strive to represent wisdom, truth, honesty: to embody these qualities ourselves and to help you discover and live these values, particularly while you grapple with complex, difficult issues. If they were easy, you wouldn’t need help! It is at these times when you are tested the most, that you can be tempted to compromise.

We define these “values in action” as:

Wisdom – culling lessons learned from your experiences and applying them going forward to enhance your results – doing this with head and heart.

Truth – identifying and sharing what is real and true for you based on your current facts and perceptions.

Honesty – being fair, straightforward and sincere in all dealings.

In our view, whether you are an individual or an organization, consistently actioning these values is the only path to sustainable growth over time.

Living these values during difficult times is the true test of leadership because real growth is hard! Growth is rarely a linear, smooth path, so it requires your steadfast commitment. It is truly a sage leader who can uphold these values under pressure and hardship.

We hope this is your experience with us.

What are some of the most powerful brands that speak to you?

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

The 21st century socially-networked, information-flooded world today requires a multi-dimensional approach to leadership and influencing your constituents.

Although I am quoting from an article in the Nonprofit Quarterly, and the examples referenced are the current debate on women’s reproductive health and other social movements, there are key points that are relevant for leaders of all sectors.

Decide what applies to you as you navigate the whitewaters of organizational change today:

“…leaning into discomfort, I think, is critical, to make sure that what we are doing …is bold enough. The organization had better be feeling discomfort if it’s leaning into new strategies and ways of working….

“You have always to ask, Am I pushing for the change that’s really needed? On all of those levels, you have to continually refresh and check and make sure that you’re getting the most power for the mission by being as uncomfortable as possible. Because change is hard, and the reason why you have to look at all those different levels—yourself, your organization, and then the world—is that if you’re not willing to hold the tension of change as an organization, how can you begin to understand what you have to risk and what others have to risk to make change happen in the world?”

“ …In a world full of current and future ambiguities, leaders have to stay nimble and ready to rebalance their organizations to fit most powerfully into a whole field/ movement strategy. The skills of consultation and engagement with other leaders inside and outside of an organization are never entirely straightforward but have to be kept moving in the right direction whenever a door seems to crack open—or needs to be cracked open.

“In connected environments, leaders know that networks are always teetering on the edge of balance, requiring many small adjustments to achieve a measure of dynamic stasis. I have found that a networked leader has to be in constant motion, paying attention to the habits and the small stimuli needed to incessantly reconstitute balance and motion. One must learn to feel the current of change, look for and recognize resonance, and deploy oneself not as prod, but as a pivot for the many moments of change that are called for every day.”

Keep moving and lean into your edge.

Enough said.

Todd Plitt gives a great depiction of how technology is changing the way we grieve. When referring to attending a funeral via live video stream, John Reed (a funeral director) says, “The new generation has grown up with this type of technology. As we move forward, we’re going to see more people who want to do this. The older people will die off, and their values will leave with them.” This was not necessary and extreme – especially given the topic!

I see nothing wrong with attending virtually if one absolutely cannot make it live. I would hope that this would not end up being the norm. Face-to-face human contact, particularly at a time like this, is very important to the bereaved. If human contact dies off, where are we as a species – too busy to take a break from our digital devices to be present?

Technology DOES have a place in the grief process – memories via Facebook (such as Angelo Merendino’s page dedicated to his wife who died of breast cancer), online blogs, guest books, etc. Just keep it in perspective.

A great example of this is when a member of my church lost her husband quickly and unexpectedly this year, someone organized a meal sign up for several months using meal-train. It eliminated the need for phone trees and increased efficiency – and facilitated sensitivity to the bereft’s grieving process. The griever puts their preferences online: how and when to deliver food (so she doesn’t have to be home) and dietary restrictions. The rest of the community signs up and delivers. The bereaved can have her space but also knows we are here if she wants to talk.

Grief is one of the rawest of emotions where you are cracked open and vulnerable. The process is unpredictable and painful. No machine can comfort you. Comments on your Facebook page help but when you shut down the computer if you don’t at some point have a human witness in flesh there with you to give you what you need – a hug, hold your hand, or to just listen – then you are at best prolonging your grief and at worst exacerbating your emotional state.

Nothing can ever replace mindful, compassionate presence. This is why we are messy human BEINGS versus efficient processing MACHINES.

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

When one is divorced, unfortunately there is a lot of societal judgment and shame. I like to think this is changing as we move collectively to supporting more truth, learning and authentic relationships. Leading parallel lives is easy. Truly intimate relationships are not easy, requiring sacrifice and compromise from both partners daily – in large and small ways. The reward is the promise of connection and an easier, more fulfilling life than if one were alone.

If one has worked hard in their relationship and the other person isn’t doing their part or there is abuse, then the choice to separate is life giving and healthy for both as it will catalyze some kind of change in both partners – such as peace, acceptance, responsibility (maybe anger!). I see all of it as a healing process. It is a death needing to be grieved: loss of a dream and a connection.

All grief requires support – time and space. After divorce what is reasonably sufficient time to expect someone to move on from the marriage and memories – 1, 2, 3 years – or should this be never? After all, there may have been some great times amidst the pain. The divorcee may still love their spouse and wished it had worked but knows it can’t for whatever reason. Also, they may have children together. When the divorcee remarries, is it okay to grieve that loss in front of their new partner or should they do this in private? If they are still grieving, what does this say – about them, their former marriage, their current marriage? Is it okay to still remember anniversaries and “the” court date (death of the marriage)? Some may celebrate the court date every year! How should the new spouse respond?

When one is widowed society gives unquestionable and ongoing compassion and support – forever. Maybe this is because in some sense the end of the relationship is outside the grieving spouse’s control and they didn’t want the connection to end. And, of course, others grieve the loss of the departed. Death removes all blemishes and strengthens the best virtues. The spouse left behind is a victim of circumstances and life changed whether they wanted it to or not. If the person remarries, is it okay to have this grief continue into the new marriage in front of the new spouse for many years or forever, or should the partner deal with their grief separately?  How should the new spouse respond?

Could it not be true with divorce, the partner also did not want the relationship to end and, either it was outside their control or they knew no other life affirming choice? Why are “divorced people” branded as failures versus courageous relationship warriors risking the absolute devastation of a broken heart for the promise of a healthier, more truthful life?

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.

In my last post, I discuss Asana, the company. Founders, Moskovitz and Rosenstein are contributing to the global shift occurring on the planet right now that espouses we are interconnected, transitioning from me to we.  They are living their belief that they can turn a profit in a way that does the least harm and actually contributes to social good.

They believe groups create larger contributions to the world than individuals. They operate from the premise that all problems are solvable if we work together. “While corporations are excellent vehicles for collecting resources and making money to build better services, they are also excellent vehicles for creating joy and alleviating suffering.”

This sounds like Buddha in business attire.

Rubinstein says, “As a collective, co-creators do great things vs. human resources who extract things…. companies [should be] a means to an end to create joy on earth.”

Finally, they espouse a radical concept and departure from traditional corporate speak: Transparency of being – “let people be who they are…” don’t make them have to switch modes when they come to work.

What if you worked for a company that supported all of who you are? What if our corporate culture shifted from exploitation to working partnership to create life nurturing goods and services versus selling us things we don’t really need or want?

I heard a financial analyst the other day give an overview on his view of the economy. “We have been living beyond our means for 30 years.  We now have to lower our expectations.”

This we know. The real question is, can we come together as a nation, as a world and think differently about how we make money and about how much money we really need? Afterall, whatever you make, you can’t take it with you when you go.

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com

Asana – not just a yoga pose but a company!

Dustin Moskovitz and Justin Rosenstein founded Asana to enable teams to accomplish their goals more effectively. They do this by leveraging technology to form a collective memory, a “source of truth” as they describe it. They facilitate self organization so others see the information – and have a more immediate way of acting on it. It’s like a fluid project management system.

Do you suffer from continual partial attention? Their objective is to facilitate optimizing your energy with what is most important at any given time.

These entrepreneurs embody and apply what they know to be true:

• Powering through things and driving yourself is not what makes you most effective.
• Doing sprints, with rests in-between is more effective (as described in Loehr’s and Schwartz’s The Power of Full Engagement).
• In order to do creative work, it is important as an individual and as a company to understand your energy patterns and work with those in a deliberate way.
• It is possible to be in sync – work in harmony with a higher spiritual mission and be a business and a successful company.

Company practices that support these beliefs:

• They have a company chef to make good, nutritious food, in order to maximize energy levels.
• They align their people with a mindfulness practice – to pay attention to what they are doing and how they are doing it.
• Every Friday they have a TGIF where they share one thing they are excited about and one opportunity to put more attention to.

Food for thought….

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com

Got Mindfulness?
Join the Quiet Revolution.
Pay Attention.

Start here now. Do your part to save the world – starting with you.

You can’t lead your family or your business to something you don’t possess.

Here is a great talk by Congressman Tim Ryan talking about how mindfulness practice has impacted his life and his work.

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com

Many spiritual teachers espouse: if you can’t live in the moment and are always searching, you will never be happy. This logically makes sense – and I know this experientially.

Tara Brach tells a great Indian myth that generates keen questions to ponder:

What is within you today that makes you happy – or just laugh outloud?

How many moments have you been present and said this is enough?

Is the present moment what you have been looking for?

When have you said this is the center, meaning, preciousness of my life…this is what counts?

Savor it all. Just for today…

© Copyright 2012 Sage Leadership Strategies, LLC All rights Reserved.               www.sagelead.com

How would you condense the themes and patterns of your life into a short story? What have you consciously worked on to change about yourself? Where are you at with radical acceptance? I love Portia Nelson’s Autobiography:

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters  By Portia Nelson

Chapter I

I walked down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in I am lost… I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But, it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in… it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.